


Nothing but Formal

by Hukki



Series: Nothing but Formal [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Break Up, Children, Drama, F/F, Fights, Heavy Angst, Minor Allura/Lotor (Voltron), Pregnancy, Romance, Sad, pallura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 17:51:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14218497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hukki/pseuds/Hukki
Summary: Pidge hated how she had to fake a smile and pretend she was excited for this event. If anything it hurt her greatly just thinking of the fateful day. But she can’t let a small thing like this hurt her, she was the green paladin. She has faced the most dangerous enemies out there, this thing that was happening shouldn’t be affecting her. It did though and she hated how everyone walked down the long hallway to Princess Allura’s room. Each step felt like agony as she came closer to her dreaded destination.





	Nothing but Formal

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend that you read this one-shot before reading Nothing formal at All, since it does explain what's going on.

Pidge hated how she had to fake a smile and pretend she was excited for this event. If anything it hurt her greatly just thinking of the fateful day. But she can’t let a small thing like this hurt her, she was the green paladin. She has faced the most dangerous enemies out there, this thing that was happening shouldn’t be affecting her. It did though and she hated how everyone walked down the long hallway to Princess Allura’s room. Each step felt like agony as she came closer to her dreaded destination.

 

Everyone was happy, bright smiles and jokes being cracked. All while Pidge wanted to die for the first time in a while. Step by step, tick by tick, and now they were finally outside Allura’s door. Shiro was first to knock and the door opened, revealing a smiling Coran staring back at them. “Come in come in! But make sure to keep your voice’s down, don’t want to wake the little one up!” Pidge stiffened at the mention of Allura’s new child, she even stopped breathing for a moment. 

 

Shiro was first to walk into the room, then Lance, Keith, and Hunk. But Pidge for some reason stayed in place, feeling like her whole body has turned to stone. It was too much, she couldn’t do this, she didn’t want to believe what was happening. Pidge let her eyes wander into the room , catching a slight glance of the child. Noticing the bright green altean marks coating their cocoa colored skin. Their hair as white as both of their parents. She removed her eyes from them then looked up, accidentally locking eyes with the woman she’s been ignoring. Allura smiled at her but Pidge bolts away, not stepping a foot in her room. She ran down the hallway and went straight to her Lion. 

 

Pidge pushed her way into the Lion and threw herself into the pilot’s seat. She slammed her head on the control board and screamed loudly. Her head was slick with blood that began to leak down her face. But she didn’t care, all the pain was drowned out by memories of when Allura telling her the news, how her heart broke into a million pieces. Pidge groaned and tears welled up at the corners of her eyes as her mind forced everything to be relived once again. 

 

_ Together for a good two years, no one knew about their relationship at all. It had started when Pidge turned sixteen years old. It was a beyond wonderful experience, secret dates, cuddling at night, they even went into the sexual area of things. She enjoyed it and loved Allura with all her heart, even told her in words. But it apparently wasn’t enough when that fateful day was dropped on her.  _

 

_ “Pidge come on, you have to understand that this is something for my people! I’m obligated to!” _

 

_ “WHAT PEOPLE HUH? ALL THE PEOPLE THAT ARE DEAD?!” Pidge threw her helmet at the princess as rage filled her small body. “YOU’RE OBLIGATED TO NOTHING! YOU CANT REBUILD THE ALTEAN RACE JUST WITH THE TWO OF YOU!” She punched the wall and yelled louder, a side of her that was barely released.  _

 

_ “I have to at least try! I don’t want the Altean race dying out completely! This child will help rebuild Altea when its born…” Allura set a hand on her flat stomach, smiling down sadly at it. But that’s when Pidge snapped completely.  _

 

_ “You’re already PREGNANT? SO NOT ONLY ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU’RE LEAVING ME BUT YOU ALSO CHEATED ON ME?” Tears spilled from her angry eye as she held the urge back to hit the wall again. Her right hand was already throbbing from the previous plow.  _

 

_ “J-Just calm down Pidge! I never said I was leaving you! I was just telling you-” _

 

_ “I don't want to hear it damn it!” Pidge wiped her tears. “I hate you so fucking much! I hope you live with shame and that everytime you stare at the child, you feel shame. Don't talk or bug me ever again!”  _

 

Pidge winced at remembering how heartbroken Allura looked as she said those horrible words. It hurt her even to this day and it just got worse. Worse just like the open cut on her head that was leaking for blood than it should. “Hngh…” She mumbled before slowly bringing herself to stand and exiting her Lion. Just a few ticks in the pods and everything will be better; well almost better. With everyone occupied Pidge didn’t need to explain what happened but did leave a trail of blood while walking. Which they might question but she would brush it off as some cut that happened on accident. With that, she disappeared into a pod for just a little. 

 

Days, weeks, months, passed by since the birth of Allura’s child. Pidge completely cut herself off from Allura and the child. She would leave the room if they entered and actually took on long missions so she wouldn’t be around much. Which also brought rude and hurtful comments from the other paladins directed towards her. Most of them were that she wasn’t really part of their team anymore and how she mistreats Allura. It was completely unfair since they didn’t know the actual story behind everything, but Pidge spares them from that.

 

She finds herself coming home from a month long mission to see Lotor trying to teach his child to walk. Partly surprised because Pidge didn’t realize it's been quite a while since they were born. Either way though, she finds herself pulling her eyes away and walking past everyone. As she nearly entered the long hallway, there was a disgruntled noise from Lotor.  

 

“Now tell me Katie, what seems to be the issue with my child that you hate him so much?” Lotor settled his child onto the floor and began walking over. He towered over Pidge a bit but she was glad that the world blessed her with an extra few inches of height over the years. She took a small step back and looked up at him,standing her ground.  _ ‘Just stay calm, if he hits you then it just happens.’  _

 

“Don’t call me Katie, Lotor. Only close friends are allowed to and sorry, but I barely see you as a person at all.“ She took a deep breath when Lotor clenched his fists. “And… I have no problem with your son, I just have better things to do then gush over a child. Now please leave me alone. I’m going to get some rest before I depart for another mission.” Pidge spared a glance to her team and turned away, heading back to her room. 

 

She knew that telling Lotor those things will most likely bring some trouble along the way but it didn’t matter. Pidge was already busy with missions left and right, so it doesn't really matter if people hated her. They would just have to deal with everything as long as Voltron existed. She drifted away from the team already, what’s wrong if she drifted away a little more? Pidge sighed and laid down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Her room was strangely clean for someone who wasn’t around a lot, but she didn’t dwell on the thought. As she closed her eyes to finally drift to sleep, her door opened. 

 

Pidge cracked an eye opened to see who it was and no one came into view.  _ ‘Space ghosts ?’  _ was the first thing that came to her mind. But she looked downward and noticed the baby boy crawling into her room. She groaned out as he welcomed himself to her room, crawling into multiple areas that he shouldn’t. “Hey, you, uhhh get out of here.” Pidge called to him and he didn’t listen. She continued to watch until finally getting up and getting him. 

 

“Listen kid, you're not allowed in here. “ Pidge turned the boy around and stared into his blue eyes.  His facial qualities taking on Allura’s more than anything. The boy giggled at her and made sure to smile, a smile that Pidge didn't want to see. She knew it was bad but there was anger towards this boy.  Even if he didn't do anything wrong, Pidge was just upset altogether. “You're going back to your mother. “ She held him against her shoulder and walked down to Allura’s room. Giving a loud knock.

 

It took a few moments but Allura opened it and smiled upon seeing Pidge. There was a loud gasp and she clamped her hands together.  “Pidge! What a surprise! It's been so long since the last time-"

 

“Your child invaded my room, I came to return him.” She passed over the child and shoved her hands into her pockets. “Didn't want him to get into any stuff, make sure to keep a better eye on him.” Pidge avoided eye contact and stared at the floor. Her heart pounding against her chest just being next to Allura. 

 

“Ah sorry about that, I usually go in there to clean it up and he’s usually with me. I'll make sure to keep him out of your hair when you're home.” 

 

“Ah so you're the one keeping it clean… Uh… Thanks I guess… I'll be leaving for another mission soon actually, I got it from my father down on Earth. Probably take about 5 months are so, or…. eh I don't know how to convert that to Altean time. Either way, I'll be gone for a long time. Just telling you so everyone doesn't panic, goodbye Allura.” She turned away and went to step a forward but Allura gripped her shoulder. 

 

“Before you leave, we need to talk Katie. I don't care if you're busy or anything, this is needed for us. Now come on in, if you refuse then I won't allow you to go on the mission.” Was all she said and then walked into her room, sitting down on her humongous bed. Pidge was still in the hallway thinking, not wanting to face the conflict between them.  But it's been months, a long time, she needed to do this for her own. So she turned around and walked into the room, closing the door behind her. She slowly walked to the bed and sat as far away from Allura. 

 

“Good.” Silence. “So uhm… First things first, my son’s name is Samuel.” She stroked his beautiful short white hair. “They say in Altea that the color of the thing you love will be your child’s color. Samuel’s markings came out as green and from them I just knew what to name him.” Allura smiled at Samuel then looked to stare at Pidge, noticing the tears dripping down her face. She wanted to reach out and help but she knew that wouldn't help at all. 

 

Pidge noticed the staring from Allura and quickly wiped her eyes. She thought this was going to be somewhat easy but that was wrong. Right when Allura explained the boy’s name and markings she just broke inside more. The only thought in her mind being,  _ ‘If you loved me so much then why would you do this ?’ _ She shook her head from the thought and called herself though. It hurt a lot but finally for once she turned to Allura and made eye contact. 

 

“That's… Nice… So what else did you want to speak about?” 

 

Allura stared back into her eyes and smiled sadly. “Lotor suggested that he and I get married after Samuel turned a year.” Pidge clenched her fists. “But I refused his offer because I do not care for his affections. He gave me a child to continue my race… That was it and I know you're angry for my actions but if I told you my plans you would be angry either way. I'm sorry that a hurt you Katie… It was never my intention and I wish to be in your life again.” She moved forward to Pidge and stroked her cheek whilst kissing her forehead. 

 

It was terrible to have Allura show her affection even if she said those cruel words. Pidge was torn between accepting the princess back into her life and letting go. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, letting herself enjoy the feeling of Allura’s warm hand. Everything felt normal like it used to be, it brought back the best memories of their love. But she couldn't do it, she said things that wouldn't be forgiven. So she opened her eyes and stared back at Allura. 

 

“I can't do that Allura… It would be too much pain for me to forgive you for. I love you, I really do…. I just wouldn't be able to look at Samuel, I would remember what you did to get him. I know it sounds horrible and cruel but you really did hurt me. I-I shut myself away because I couldn't talk to anyone about it, I've drifted away because of him.” She raised a hand to wipe away more of her tears. “I said some horrible things to you too and…. I can't forgive myself for them because I still believe in them. So…” Pidge stood up and looked away. 

 

“I'm just a paladin of Voltron and nothing more to you. I’ll be preparing for my next mission.” With that, she left the princess and her child. 

 

Allura was heartbroken but understood Pidge’s reasoning. You can't force someone to accept something that they don’t care for. So she accepted the girl’s choice and went along with it, even if it caused her to cry. “Y-You.” She took a shaky breath. “You're dismissed Green Paladin, have a safe mission.” 

 

“Affirmative Princess Allura.” 

 

Nothing but formal. 


End file.
